Have you ever come up with affirmations to say to yourself but they feel highly uncomfortable and fake? They might be statements such as… I am abundantly wealthy. I am enough. I am a strong, capable person. I am safe and protected. I deserve to be loved and to love. One reason they don’t feel […]
Why Affirmations Don’t Work Read More »
Imagine this: You and your partner are about to take a summer vacation. You each pack, make the trip and unpack when you arrive. Your bag contains: your e-reader, candles, an eye mask, personal massager, and an assortment of teas. You’ve been looking forward to lazy days lounging around so you can unwind on this
Same Crap, Nicer Scenery: How to Reduce Arguing on Your Next Vacation Read More »
Great news! Every relationship reaches a difficult stage after the early romance ends. Just think about country songs – countless songs have been written about BOTH the romantic stage and the conflict stage. It’s unavoidable AND couples therapists consider it a given, even in strong, healthy marriages. Why? First, it’s normal because the two of
Can conflict be a sign of a HEALTHY relationship? Read More »
Often in session, we hear couples say, “We had a huge argument but can’t even remember what started it.” They’ll let us know it was a big blowout but can’t recall the beginning. As a couple’s therapist (and spouse for 25 years), I know why this is: you didn’t stick to the topic that started
Why Couples Can’t Remember What Started An Argument Read More »
Most relationship experts don’t agree with the advice below. Read on to see how we refute these very common, but unhelpful, ideas: 1. You can change your partner. 2. If things aren’t going well, continue to live together but stay as separate as you can. 3. The kids come first. 4. Don’t go to bed
The Worst Relationship Advice AND A Couples Therapist’s Responses Read More »
Have you ever had one of those conversations where your partner says something minor that leaves you enraged or bursting into tears? What do you do when your partner triggers intense emotions in you? The first response in most of us is to want our partner to stop it. We want our partner to change
My Partner Makes Me Want to Scream: A 3-Step Response to Triggering Situations Read More »
by Lauren Roberts, Practicum Student-Therapist under the Supervision of Meredith Keller LPC, ACS Talking has changed drastically in recent years: for many, the majority of ‘conversations’ are held through technology. These advances, however, can also have their faults. Have you ever felt like you were speaking to someone and it was like talking to a
How to Talk In-Person: 4 Tools for Clear, Effective Communication Read More »
When you’re upset, do you tend to pull yourself inside or express yourself outwardly? Do you clam up? This is the Avoider Style of reacting. Do you persist in talking about the issue? This is the Pursuer Style of reacting. Which is your ‘go to’ reaction? And, could your reactions be making things worse? What
Will My Avoider or Pursuer Reaction Style Help Me Get My Needs Met? Read More »
During difficult times, it’s easy to lose sight of the positive aspects of our lives and focus solely on what’s going wrong. This can be because what’s going wrong is right in our face, demanding our attention. There is, however, a great deal to be gained from paying attention to what is good in our
Being Thankful: How It Creates Happiness Read More »
Are you taking your partner for granted OR, even worse, focusing on what she/he isn’t doing or saying? If you wish your partner would change, and have already asked, pleaded or begged for these changes to be made, it’s time to stop. Not only will this fail to bring about the changes you desire, it
Giving Thanks for Your Partner: How Appreciating the Good Can Transform You Read More »
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