You’ve learned to set boundaries with others but what do you do when they don’t respect them? In fact, I’d be shocked if the person on the receiving end of your ‘no’ statement says “I can understand: you are taking care of yourselves by carefully choosing what’s important to you and your family” or “You’re …
Preparing for the Holidays II: Enforcing Boundaries with Extended Family Read More »
Dreading having to participate in certain events with parents, extended family or in-laws over the holidays? Do you anticipate feeling forced to engage in things you don’t want to do? Do you shudder at the thought of a certain relative going on and on about something? Are you expected to put your kids into dressy …
Preparing for the Holidays I: Setting Boundaries with Extended Family Read More »
Often in session, we hear couples say, “We had a huge argument but can’t even remember what started it.” They’ll let us know it was a big blowout but can’t recall the beginning. As a couple’s therapist (and spouse for 25 years), I know why this is: you didn’t stick to the topic that started …
Why Couples Can’t Remember What Started An Argument Read More »
The characteristics that we notice the most in others (both positive and negative) are often traits that we have ourselves. It’s startling to consider that a negative trait in someone (which often elicits a strong response in us) is a trait we have as well. Thus access a reflection of ourselves through a relationship with …
Most relationship experts don’t agree with the advice below. Read on to see how we refute these very common, but unhelpful, ideas: 1. You can change your partner. 2. If things aren’t going well, continue to live together but stay as separate as you can. 3. The kids come first. 4. Don’t go to bed …
The Worst Relationship Advice AND A Couples Therapist’s Responses Read More »
Did you find yourself getting frustrated about the same things with your partner over and over? You’ve stated your requests again and again – why can’t your spouse just GET IT? Does it seem you’re both stating the very same things during each conflict? You are not alone. Many partners have core fights that they …
Repetitive Arguments with our Partner: Why can’t they just GET IT? Read More »
Following the baby’s arrival, the daily household tasks that need to get done can explode. Between cooking, dishes, diapers, bottles, ordering and/or shopping for household items, cleaning, and laundry … tasks can be endless. There are decisions and purchases that have to be made and, for many, being conscious of a budget. The stress and …
There is plenty of misinformation about couples’ sexual relationships online. It’s troubling because: a) searching for answers to questions online is SO easy; b) it can be difficult to know if you’ve found reliable and valid information that’s based on work done by experts; and c) you will come across worst case scenarios. And there’s …
3 Most Common Myths about Long-term Relationships and Sex Read More »
When you think of how sex is portrayed on TV and in movies and porn, it’s pretty unrealistic. Most of these (heterosexual) participants are thin, attractive, young and unmarried (to each other, at least). Only recently married couples have been portrayed having sex. This sets us up to believe we should have a certain body …
Do you have an unsupportive partner? Has one of these scenarios happened to you? You’re hurt by something your sister did but your partner doesn’t seem to care. Something major just happened and your partner seems distracted and disinterested as you’re telling them. You’re angry about how you were treated at the bank and your partner tells you it’s not a big deal. You’re worried …
7 Things You Can Do When your Partner Isn’t Being Supportive Read More »
