Have you ever come up with affirmations to say to yourself but they feel highly uncomfortable and fake? They might be statements such as… I am abundantly wealthy. I am enough. I am a strong, capable person. I am safe and protected. I deserve to be loved and to love. One reason they don’t feel …
Imagine this: You and your partner are about to take a summer vacation. You each pack, make the trip and unpack when you arrive. Your bag contains: your e-reader, candles, an eye mask, personal massager, and an assortment of teas. You’ve been looking forward to lazy days lounging around so you can unwind on this …
Same Crap, Nicer Scenery: How to Reduce Arguing on Your Next Vacation Read More »
How do you align with your partner when your lives are very busy with kids, careers, a household, maybe aging parents or medical issues? Do you need a formal date night or weekend away together to do so? And how could you possibly fit that in with the kids’ activities or sports or family events? …
But There’s Not Enough TIME To Connect As A Couple! Read More »
Great news! Every relationship reaches a difficult stage after the early romance ends. Just think about country songs – countless songs have been written about BOTH the romantic stage and the conflict stage. It’s unavoidable AND couples therapists consider it a given, even in strong, healthy marriages. Why? First, it’s normal because the two of …
Can conflict be a sign of a HEALTHY relationship? Read More »
You’ve learned to set boundaries with others but what do you do when they don’t respect them? In fact, I’d be shocked if the person on the receiving end of your ‘no’ statement says “I can understand: you are taking care of yourselves by carefully choosing what’s important to you and your family” or “You’re …
Preparing for the Holidays II: Enforcing Boundaries with Extended Family Read More »
Dreading having to participate in certain events with parents, extended family or in-laws over the holidays? Do you anticipate feeling forced to engage in things you don’t want to do? Do you shudder at the thought of a certain relative going on and on about something? Are you expected to put your kids into dressy …
Preparing for the Holidays I: Setting Boundaries with Extended Family Read More »
Often in session, we hear couples say, “We had a huge argument but can’t even remember what started it.” They’ll let us know it was a big blowout but can’t recall the beginning. As a couple’s therapist (and spouse for 25 years), I know why this is: you didn’t stick to the topic that started …
Why Couples Can’t Remember What Started An Argument Read More »
The characteristics that we notice the most in others (both positive and negative) are often traits that we have ourselves. It’s startling to consider that a negative trait in someone (which often elicits a strong response in us) is a trait we have as well. Thus access a reflection of ourselves through a relationship with …
Most relationship experts don’t agree with the advice below. Read on to see how we refute these very common, but unhelpful, ideas: 1. You can change your partner. 2. If things aren’t going well, continue to live together but stay as separate as you can. 3. The kids come first. 4. Don’t go to bed …
The Worst Relationship Advice AND A Couples Therapist’s Responses Read More »
Did you find yourself getting frustrated about the same things with your partner over and over? You’ve stated your requests again and again – why can’t your spouse just GET IT? Does it seem you’re both stating the very same things during each conflict? You are not alone. Many partners have core fights that they …
Repetitive Arguments with our Partner: Why can’t they just GET IT? Read More »
