Which type best describes you in a relationship?
In which column is your number higher? If your number is higher on the LEFT column, you’re a MINIMIZER. Like a turtle, you pull inside yourself when you’re upset. If your number is higher on the RIGHT column, you’re a MAXIMIZER. Like a hailstorm, you let it all out when you’re upset.
Often minimizers are married to maximizers. This exacerbates the initial issue because now you’re dealing with not just the content of the argument but the process of how you each handle yourselves.
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Couples Therapy Center of NJ teaches clients tools to handle your reactions. It’s not that either way is bad or wrong unless that’s your only way of handling EVERY ISSUE. We give our clients an alternative to either of these reactions – a middle way that’s more effective and productive ESPECIALLY when tensions rise. As mature adults, we need a full range of tools at our disposal so we can apply the best one for that particular situation.