Giving Thanks, Gaining Happiness

Is everything going wrong?  Are you feeling frustrated, stuck, unhappy, or overwhelmed?  It’s easy to get bogged down and feeling bad when it seems like nothing is going your way.  During these difficult times, we often lose sight of what’s good in our lives and focus solely on what’s wrong.  It’s easy to lose perspective when the things that aren’t going well are right in our face, demanding our attention.  We forget about all the things that are good, allowing them to fade into the background and take a backseat to our powerful negative feelings.  There is, however, a great deal to be gained from paying attention to what is good in our lives, especially during more difficult times.

The things we are thankful for actually grow in importance when we begin to focus on them.  If we spend time thinking about what we are grateful for, we’ll suddenly notice these things appearing more frequently in our lives.  Plus, taking note of the things that make us happy will automatically increase our feelings of pleasure and appreciation.  It refocuses our attention, relegating the negative to the backseat and bringing the positive, pleasurable parts of our lives to the forefront where we can enjoy them to the fullest.

It’s not always easy to focus on the positive, but you can make appreciating the things you enjoy a part of your daily life.  Simply write five things you are thankful for in a journal each night or give thanks in the form of a prayer. Be mindful of the little things that make you happy.  Watch them grow and increase the joy in your daily life.  What are you thankful for?

  • Learning something new
  • Salty chips
  •  Waiters/waitresses
  • Watching raindrops hit the ground
  • Chinese takeout
  • Hairdryers and flatirons
  • Loving sexual touch
  • An eager sex partner
  • A cold glass of water
  • Museums
  • High heels
  • Sports
  • The view of endless clouds from an airplane window
  • Then landing safely!
  • People who know how to listen
  • Skype
  • Hot apple pie
  • Crunchy fall leaves
  • Your favorite pair of jeans
  • Freshly popped popcorn
  • Snuggling up under a warm blanket

To schedule an appointment to learn more about how feeling gratitude for your partner can greatly improve your relationship, call 908-246-3074 or email mkeller@couplestherapycenterofnj.com

Meredith Keller's Book

Relationship Essentials

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Relationship Essentials book

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