Can you keep a secret? For many people, keeping something confidential can be quite difficult. Think back – was there ever a time when someone confided in you and you had a hard time keeping it private? Or how about a time when you trusted a close friend or family member with a secret of […]
Your emotions have a huge impact on your marriage. Whether your reaction to these emotions is to show them on the outside OR to keep outside of your awareness, your reaction might be driving your partner away. After many times of reacting similarly, a pattern sets in. This pattern may be a big contributor to […]
When I first talk to clients about how to set goals I am always met with strange looks and disbelief. The conversation usually begins with people telling me what’s not going well in their lives, what’s difficult for them, or what they have too much or too little of. I always ask them, “What do […]
When people learn that I’m a therapist, they often ask me how I can spend all day listening to other people’s problems. Many people imagine that my job is very difficult and draining. For some people it might be, but it’s not that way for me. I do this job because I love it. I […]
I usually write about allowing our feelings to be felt, to be talked about, and to be shown. Today, I’ve been thinking about the opposite: containing them – and how to know when to do what! Containing our emotions means to hold back how we’re feeling from someone else. It’s what we do when we […]
Most of my clients have some kind of challenge in their relationships with others. The struggle may be with a spouse, a friend, a family member, a co-worker, a child, a neighbor, or a landlord. No matter who the struggle is with, we often discuss what someone else said or did and how my client […]
This time of year, we are hearing so much about New Year’s Resolutions. The idea of starting new habits in January is all over magazines and TV. Naturally, we think about doing things differently going forward. We can have the best intentions, yet, ever wonder why people resolve to make a change and the change […]
There is a lot of pressure for kids to excel in school, at test taking, to join numerous extra-curricular activities, and even (from themes in the media) to be sexy. But what do our kids really need to grow up to be healthy and successful? In the past, I’ve touched on some of the things […]
Is everything going wrong? Are you feeling frustrated, stuck, unhappy, or overwhelmed? It’s easy to get bogged down and feeling bad when it seems like nothing is going your way. During these difficult times, we often lose sight of what’s good in our lives and focus solely on what’s wrong. It’s easy to lose perspective […]
In my therapy practice, I often hear married couples say, “We’ve fallen out of love” or “I’m not sure I love her/him anymore.” These statements are made with great sadness and a clear sense of hopelessness. The couples, who feel that the romantic love is gone from their relationships, begin to doubt the value of […]
