Vulnerable Language: An Important Way to Connect With Loved Ones

It is so easy to be careless with our words, even though words have tremendous power to either connect us or distance us from others.  Choosing words more carefully can improve communication and result in a closer connection with those we love.  A more careful way of communicating is by using Vulnerable Language.  Using Vulnerable Language means using words that show our true thoughts and feelings to the listener.

We are vulnerable when we use feeling words such as, “I felt (happy, hurt, scared) when …” Speaking these words allows the listener to see into our internal world.  Sharing our feelings with those who respect us can increase closeness and encourage true understanding.  However, not every feeling word is vulnerable.  Some feeling words, like anger and frustration, are not vulnerable because they keep us distant from the listener.

Another way of opening ourselves to others is by using words to express what we need.  For example, “I need (attention, love, affection)”.  This type of Vulnerable Language expresses that we are human and all humans have needs.  Using Vulnerable Language in this way helps us learn how we are really feeling inside and teaches us how to ask for what we need.

Being vulnerable and opening ourselves in this way will increase the likelihood that the listener will hear us and feel connected to us. It is healthy to be vulnerable with the people in our lives who love and respect us.

By opening ourselves more fully to those we care about, Vulnerable Language gives us a powerful way to communicate more clearly and to connect with loved ones.

To schedule an appointment to learn more about how feeling gratitude for your partner can greatly improve your relationship, call 908-246-3074 or email

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