If you’re like most of us, your partner can trigger you like no one else can – with the possible exception of your mother! Sometimes all it takes is a few words or the wrong look and your reaction is immediate and intense – you’re angry, upset, hurt and reacting with a lot of emotion. […]
Can you keep a secret? For many people, keeping something confidential can be quite difficult. Think back – was there ever a time when someone confided in you and you had a hard time keeping it private? Or how about a time when you trusted a close friend or family member with a secret of […]
Words have so much power. Depending on how we use them, words have the power to inspire, to hurt, or to heal. Think about what you say to your partner. Are you saying words that support and inspire your spouse? Are you using words that soothe and heal him/her? Or are you using words that […]
Have you ever been going about your daily life, when suddenly something your spouse says or does is so reminiscent of what your mother or father once said or did, you can hardly believe it?!? It can be quite unsettling to see negative traits your parent(s) had now demonstrated by your spouse. The positive traits […]
Do you sometimes wonder if you married the wrong person? Have you asked yourself: How could I have been so clueless? Why didn’t I listen to my friends (or my mother) who warned me? What was I attracted to, anyway? When the difficult stage of a relationship hits, people think they should… change their partner […]
Your emotions have a huge impact on your marriage. Whether your reaction to these emotions is to show them on the outside OR to keep outside of your awareness, your reaction might be driving your partner away. After many times of reacting similarly, a pattern sets in. This pattern may be a big contributor to […]
When I first talk to clients about how to set goals I am always met with strange looks and disbelief. The conversation usually begins with people telling me what’s not going well in their lives, what’s difficult for them, or what they have too much or too little of. I always ask them, “What do […]
Has your relationship been going just fine, but every so often you realize the two of you don’t have much fun together anymore? This might seem like no big deal, but be warned: this can set the stage for infidelity. As life and responsibilities get in the way, many couples inadvertently put their relationship on […]
When people learn that I’m a therapist, they often ask me how I can spend all day listening to other people’s problems. Many people imagine that my job is very difficult and draining. For some people it might be, but it’s not that way for me. I do this job because I love it. I […]
I usually write about allowing our feelings to be felt, to be talked about, and to be shown. Today, I’ve been thinking about the opposite: containing them – and how to know when to do what! Containing our emotions means to hold back how we’re feeling from someone else. It’s what we do when we […]
