Are you married to a loyal and loving partner who’s been asking you for more sex? Does the thought of more sex make you roll your eyes or leave you feeling completely uninspired? Often, in relationships, there are times when one partner has a higher sex drive than the other. In some cases, it is the woman who wants more intimacy in the bedroom, but many times, it is the man who is asking for more. There could be a deeper meaning underneath his wish that many wives don’t even consider: for true and caring men, sex can be the most important way they show and receive love.
For these men, sexual intimacy is their opportunity to be as close as possible to you. They may not show love as easily with words, gifts, or by doing things around the house. Instead, they may show their love sexually. They want to please you and see you excited and enjoying yourself. They want to share fun and playfulness and eroticism with you. They’ve been wanting YOU specifically; wanting access to you in a world in which you’re not preoccupied with the kids, your work, running the household, caring for elderly parents and any number of other responsibilities. They want all of you because they love you.
Because sex can be such an important expression of love to many men, it is important that you allow yourself the time to enjoy sex and alone time with your husband. It’s easy to say “no” or turn away from his advances. After all:
- Is it going to take time away from the kids? Yes.
- Is it going to take time away from taking care of the house? Yes.
- Is it going to take time away from your other responsibilities? Yes.
- Is it inconvenient and messy? Yes.
- Does it lack the spontaneity it used to have? Yes.
- Do you need to work harder at it to make it happen? Most likely, yes.
So, is it worth all the inconvenience? YES! All of these minor obstacles and inconveniences are easily overcome and the payoffs are HUGE.
- If your husband feels connected to you, he’ll do most anything for you.
- If you’re experiencing sex on a regular basis, you’ll feel happier and more relaxed.
- You’ll like your body more because sex can be a reminder of the amazing ways it works and how good it can make you feel.
Perhaps most importantly, sex generates more closeness between the two of you. In turn, this generates a sense of partnership which generates a loving and fun attitude toward each other. When all of these things fall into place, the two of you feel like you can conquer any obstacle together, just like you felt when you first were attracted to one another.
To learn more, schedule an appointment here at Couples Therapy Center. Call 908-246-3074, email GetSupport@CouplesTherapyCenterOfNJ.com or go to www.couplestherapycenterofnj.com.
