Archives for feelings

Experiencing Your Full Range of Emotions: Why It’s Important

December 16, 2011 by admin in Emotions | Leave a comment

Everyone experiences painful feelings from time to time.  This is a normal part of the human experience, just as joy and excitement are part of being human.  Times of sorrow, grief, despair and fear are unavoidable.  In spite of the fact that experiencing these painful feelings is normal, many of us have spent a lifetime trying to avoid feeling them.

When painful feelings come, we want them to go away.  Some people try to push these feelings down by blinking back the tears.  Others try to move away from the pain by focusing on something else, constantly keeping busy, or trying to convince themselves they are being irrational.  Some people try to numb the pain in a more extreme way, by using drugs or alcohol.  Still others allow only their anger to come out by becoming physical, yelling, or demeaning others while suppressing painful feelings. Read More

Finding Holiday Happiness: How To Cope with Feelings of Lonliness and Sorrow

September 23, 2011 by admin in Holidays | Leave a comment

Everywhere we go we are bombarded with advertising and store merchandising in celebration of the holidays.  Images of being surrounded warmly by friends and family abound.  While these images paint a beautiful picture of joy and the holiday spirit, the reality is that some people feel happy, while others do not.  Many people feel loneliness and grief for their losses during the holiday season.  Although there is no media blitz shouting it to the world, it is actually quite common to feel sadness this time of year.  And denying that you truly feel this way may actually increase your feelings of sadness or inadequacy.  For some, trying to avoid these feelings causes depression, anxiety, stress or illness.  Others, in response to the massive marketing campaigns with jingling bells and falling snow, try to avoid feelings of loneliness by overcompensating with abundant or expensive gifts. Read More

Hurt by Hearsay? How Therapy Rebuilds Your Sense of Safety

August 9, 2011 by admin in Therapist | Leave a comment

Gossip – sometimes it seems we’re surrounded by it.  We hear it all the time.  It glares at us from nearly every grocery store headline.  Have you seen so-and-so’s new haircut?  What was he/she thinking?  And what about those two?  Can you believe they did that?!

On the surface, gossiping can seem like harmless, idle chatter.  It goes on all the time – and not just on the newsstands.  I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation where the conversation turned to pointing out the flaws or misfortunes of others behind their backs.  But think twice before you chime in – gossiping about someone else can hurt YOU, in ways you may not even suspect.  Believe it or not, gossiping about others leads to unease, insecurity, and even to deciding not to trust anyone ever again. Read More

Containing Our Emotions: When It’s Helpful To Hold Back

April 9, 2011 by admin in Emotions | Leave a comment

I usually write about allowing our feelings to be felt, to be talked about, and to be shown. Today, I’ve been thinking about the opposite: containing them – and how to know when to do what!

Containing our emotions means to hold back how we’re feeling from someone else.  It’s what we do when we know something’s going on inside of us because we have a strong emotion(s) about something, but we choose not to let it show on the outside.  We deliberately decide not to say anything.  We choose to stay quiet.  We limit what our face expresses by refraining from rolling our eyes or frowning.  We still our body and do not shrug our shoulders, cross our arms, or tap our feet. Read More

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