Great news! Every relationship reaches a difficult stage after the early romance ends. Just think about country songs – countless songs have been written about BOTH the romantic stage and the conflict stage. It’s unavoidable AND couples therapists consider it a given, even in strong, healthy marriages. Why? First, it’s normal because the two of …
Can conflict be a sign of a HEALTHY relationship? Read More »
Often in session, we hear couples say, “We had a huge argument but can’t even remember what started it.” They’ll let us know it was a big blowout but can’t recall the beginning. As a couple’s therapist (and spouse for 25 years), I know why this is: you didn’t stick to the topic that started …
Why Couples Can’t Remember What Started An Argument Read More »
The characteristics that we notice the most in others (both positive and negative) are often traits that we have ourselves. It’s startling to consider that a negative trait in someone (which often elicits a strong response in us) is a trait we have as well. Thus access a reflection of ourselves through a relationship with …
Have you ever had one of those conversations where your partner says something minor that leaves you enraged or bursting into tears? What do you do when your partner triggers intense emotions in you? The first response in most of us is to want our partner to stop it. We want our partner to change …
My Partner Makes Me Want to Scream: A 3-Step Response to Triggering Situations Read More »
by Lauren Roberts, Practicum Student-Therapist under the Supervision of Meredith Keller LPC, ACS Talking has changed drastically in recent years: for many, the majority of ‘conversations’ are held through technology. These advances, however, can also have their faults. Have you ever felt like you were speaking to someone and it was like talking to a …
How to Talk In-Person: 4 Tools for Clear, Effective Communication Read More »
When you’re upset, do you tend to pull yourself inside or express yourself outwardly? Do you clam up? This is the Avoider Style of reacting. Do you persist in talking about the issue? This is the Pursuer Style of reacting. Which is your ‘go to’ reaction? And, could your reactions be making things worse? What …
Will My Avoider or Pursuer Reaction Style Help Me Get My Needs Met? Read More »
Does the love/caring seem to be missing from your relationship? Do you suspect that you both still love each other even though you don’t show it? Many couples still have love between them even though it may not be apparent on a daily basis. In so many relationships, the love is buried under layers and …
Receiving Love From Your Partner: It May Be Closer Than You Think Read More »
During difficult times, it’s easy to lose sight of the positive aspects of our lives and focus solely on what’s going wrong. This can be because what’s going wrong is right in our face, demanding our attention. There is, however, a great deal to be gained from paying attention to what is good in our …
Are you taking your partner for granted OR, even worse, focusing on what she/he isn’t doing or saying? If you wish your partner would change, and have already asked, pleaded or begged for these changes to be made, it’s time to stop. Not only will this fail to bring about the changes you desire, it …
Giving Thanks for Your Partner: How Appreciating the Good Can Transform You Read More »
What do you do when your spouse is showing signs of anger? Or it may be really obvious she/he is angry. And what if his/her upset or anger is about you?? You may have been hoping your partner wasn’t angry with you. Most of us want to sidestep conflict. It’s uncomfortable and we may lack …
Yikes! Your Partner Is Angry With You: What Should You Do? Read More »
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