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Talking To Your Teens & Encouraging Them To Talk To You

December 9, 2011 by admin in Teens | Leave a comment

talking to teensRemember when your teenagers were young children who actually wanted to spend time with you?  Now, it seems that in the blink of an eye, they morphed into surly kids who are more interested in their friends and the Internet than talking to you.  Although frustrating for parents, this is a normal stage.  So what do you do?  How do you talk to teens so they don’t tune you out?  And how do you get them to talk to you?

Ask as few questions as possible.  Questioning teens tends to close them down. Instead, make statements that don’t demand a response, such as, “I’ve been wondering what you think about your new coach.”  If you get an exceptionally brief response, that’s OK, because you were just wondering aloud.  Now that they know you are interested, they may tell you more later. Read More

Light up Your Partner’s Holiday With A Gift That’s Just Right

November 29, 2011 by admin in Holidays | Leave a comment

You know it’s coming soon: an important holiday and you need to buy your partner a gift.  But what to buy? You have NO IDEA.  You’re wondering what it is they’d like, you’re trying to guess, and as the date gets closer, the stress is setting in.  You want to get him/her just the right thing, but you don’t know what that is!

You CAN light up your partner’s holiday with a gift that’s just right.  It starts with an Imago teaching that says each person has his or her unique way of seeing the world.  Therefore, one person cannot claim to know how the other sees the world until the other person communicates it to him/her.  What does this have to do with gift giving?  More than you think! Read More

Finding Holiday Happiness: How To Cope with Feelings of Lonliness and Sorrow

September 23, 2011 by admin in Holidays | Leave a comment

Everywhere we go we are bombarded with advertising and store merchandising in celebration of the holidays.  Images of being surrounded warmly by friends and family abound.  While these images paint a beautiful picture of joy and the holiday spirit, the reality is that some people feel happy, while others do not.  Many people feel loneliness and grief for their losses during the holiday season.  Although there is no media blitz shouting it to the world, it is actually quite common to feel sadness this time of year.  And denying that you truly feel this way may actually increase your feelings of sadness or inadequacy.  For some, trying to avoid these feelings causes depression, anxiety, stress or illness.  Others, in response to the massive marketing campaigns with jingling bells and falling snow, try to avoid feelings of loneliness by overcompensating with abundant or expensive gifts. Read More

What Makes Your Therapist Tick?

April 11, 2011 by admin in Therapist | Leave a comment

When people learn that I’m a therapist, they often ask me how I can spend all day listening to other people’s problems.  Many people imagine that my job is very difficult and draining.  For some people it might be, but it’s not that way for me.  I do this job because I love it.  I was drawn to doing this type of work and it’s perfect for me.

Why?  Because I notice people and their relationships.  I can feel what they’re feeling.  I can feel their painful feelings and I know how to help them feel better . I may be in a restaurant and notice a couple at another table who haven’t said more than two words to each other the whole meal.  I can see the discouragement and disconnection on their faces.  The passion and excitement is gone and I feel for them. Read More

The Transformational Power of Love?

January 9, 2011 by admin in Emotions | Leave a comment

Power of LoveThis time of year, we are hearing so much about New Year’s Resolutions.  The idea of starting new habits in January is all over magazines and TV.  Naturally, we think about doing things differently going forward.  We can have the best intentions, yet, ever wonder why people resolve to make a change and the change only lasts a short time?  Has this happened to you and then did you criticize yourself for not having stronger willpower?  If so, you may be surprised to learn that change is not about willpower and toughing it out.  Lasting change happens when we’re in a loving relationship. This is the transformational power of love. Read More

What’s Your Limit? Find Out How Much Love, Success and Happiness You Can Handle and What’s Stopping You From Having MORE

December 10, 2010 by admin in Emotions | Leave a comment

What’s Your Limit?I just read a FABULOUS book that I’m eager to share with you. The title is The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and it’s chock full of new learnings that can have a profound influence on you. It certainly did for me.  According to the book, there is only one thing that is holding you back from receiving more love, success, and money in your life.  What do you think that one thing is? It’s the limit you’ve unconsciously created for yourself.

When asked that question, some people will think the thing holding them back is an external situation such as a dead end job or a limited amount of resources.  For others, it’s blaming someone else’s faults for their own limitations, like a difficult boss or a shortcoming of your spouse’s.  While these may seem like the things that are responsible for holding you back, according to Gay, they are not.  What is actually holding you back is not something outside of yourself.  It is not caused by your environment and it is not about those you associate with.  In fact, and we know this as therapists, what holds each person back is his or her own beliefs – both conscious and unconscious. Read More