Archives for love

Focus On Family: Children Need Affection

October 18, 2011 by admin in Family | Leave a comment

We love our children deeply, in a way that is difficult to measure.  Much of our time is spent caring for them, thinking of them, teaching them, and helping them grow.  Since we invest so much of our time, thoughts and caring in our children, most parents would probably say, “Of course my child knows I love him/her.”  But how often do we really express our love and affection to our children?

This month, I’ll focus on one important way of expressing love for our children: appropriate physical affection.

A parent can show affection to their child in many ways, including Read More

What Makes Your Therapist Tick?

April 11, 2011 by admin in Therapist | Leave a comment

When people learn that I’m a therapist, they often ask me how I can spend all day listening to other people’s problems.  Many people imagine that my job is very difficult and draining.  For some people it might be, but it’s not that way for me.  I do this job because I love it.  I was drawn to doing this type of work and it’s perfect for me.

Why?  Because I notice people and their relationships.  I can feel what they’re feeling.  I can feel their painful feelings and I know how to help them feel better . I may be in a restaurant and notice a couple at another table who haven’t said more than two words to each other the whole meal.  I can see the discouragement and disconnection on their faces.  The passion and excitement is gone and I feel for them. Read More

What’s Your Limit? Find Out How Much Love, Success and Happiness You Can Handle and What’s Stopping You From Having MORE

December 10, 2010 by admin in Emotions | Leave a comment

What’s Your Limit?I just read a FABULOUS book that I’m eager to share with you. The title is The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and it’s chock full of new learnings that can have a profound influence on you. It certainly did for me.  According to the book, there is only one thing that is holding you back from receiving more love, success, and money in your life.  What do you think that one thing is? It’s the limit you’ve unconsciously created for yourself.

When asked that question, some people will think the thing holding them back is an external situation such as a dead end job or a limited amount of resources.  For others, it’s blaming someone else’s faults for their own limitations, like a difficult boss or a shortcoming of your spouse’s.  While these may seem like the things that are responsible for holding you back, according to Gay, they are not.  What is actually holding you back is not something outside of yourself.  It is not caused by your environment and it is not about those you associate with.  In fact, and we know this as therapists, what holds each person back is his or her own beliefs – both conscious and unconscious. Read More

What Does It Mean To Love Your Spouse?

October 10, 2010 by admin in Emotions | Leave a comment

What Does It Mean To Love Your Spouse?In my therapy practice, I often hear married couples say, “We’ve fallen out of love” or “I’m not sure I love her/him anymore.”  These statements are made with great sadness and a clear sense of hopelessness.  The couples, who feel that the romantic love is gone from their relationships, begin to doubt the value of their marriages and question their choice of partners. This sense of doubt is strengthened by the messages society sends about our partner being our soul mate, “other half” or someone who completes us. Read More

Defining Imago: What It Is and How It Can Improve Your Relationship

July 7, 2010 by admin in Relationships | Leave a comment

Welcome to the Power Struggle.  This is a normal stage of marriage, but it certainly doesn’t feel normal.  In fact, it feels awful.

Improve Your RelationshipAll of us want love and attention.  When we received these things from our spouse early in the relationship it felt wonderful.  Now we find ourselves feeling hurt and angry.  In response, we do what we used to do as children to get love and attention: yell, scream, withdraw, and pout.  The power struggle is a cry for connection.  It occurs, in part, because we are doing what we know how to do in order to get love and attention.  Ironically, doing these things gets us the opposite of what we want.  Although we long for connection, we are unconsciously sabotaging ourselves from getting it.

As adults, we need to find new ways to get the love, attention, and connection we desire.  Imago Relationship Therapy helps us accomplish this by teaching couples to use language as a tool of connection and by helping couples reconnect in fun and meaningful ways. Read More

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