Words have so much power. Depending on how we use them, words have the power to inspire, to hurt, or to heal. Think about what you say to your partner. Are you saying words that support and inspire your spouse? Are you using words that soothe and heal him/her? Or are you using words that […]
Have you ever been going about your daily life, when suddenly something your spouse says or does is so reminiscent of what your mother or father once said or did, you can hardly believe it?!? It can be quite unsettling to see negative traits your parent(s) had now demonstrated by your spouse. The positive traits
Wow! My spouse can be just like my mother/father! How did that happen? Read More »
Your emotions have a huge impact on your marriage. Whether your reaction to these emotions is to show them on the outside OR to keep outside of your awareness, your reaction might be driving your partner away. After many times of reacting similarly, a pattern sets in. This pattern may be a big contributor to
Get a Grip: How to Keep Emotional Reactions From Hurting Your Marriage Read More »
When I first talk to clients about how to set goals I am always met with strange looks and disbelief. The conversation usually begins with people telling me what’s not going well in their lives, what’s difficult for them, or what they have too much or too little of. I always ask them, “What do
The FIRST Step in Getting What You Want Read More »
When people learn that I’m a therapist, they often ask me how I can spend all day listening to other people’s problems. Many people imagine that my job is very difficult and draining. For some people it might be, but it’s not that way for me. I do this job because I love it. I
What Makes Your Therapist Tick? Read More »
I usually write about allowing our feelings to be felt, to be talked about, and to be shown. Today, I’ve been thinking about the opposite: containing them – and how to know when to do what! Containing our emotions means to hold back how we’re feeling from someone else. It’s what we do when we
Containing Our Emotions: When It’s Helpful To Hold Back Read More »
Most of my clients have some kind of challenge in their relationships with others. The struggle may be with a spouse, a friend, a family member, a co-worker, a child, a neighbor, or a landlord. No matter who the struggle is with, we often discuss what someone else said or did and how my client
I recently read a FABULOUS book that I’m eager to share with you. The title is, “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks and it’s chock full of new learnings that can have a profound influence on you. It certainly did for me. According to the book, there is only one thing that is holding you
In my therapy practice I often hear married couples say, “We’ve fallen out of love” or “I’m not sure I love her/him anymore.” These statements are made with great sadness and a clear sense of hopelessness. The couples, who feel that the romantic love is gone from their relationships, begin to doubt the value of
What Does It Mean To Love Your Spouse? Read More »
Have you ever seen someone have a very strong reaction to something that seems minor? From your perspective, you’re wondering what the big deal is. Why are they getting so upset? Of course, this happens all the time in marriages and other intimate relationships. We see our spouse “freak out” over something small. Often, we
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