I usually write about allowing our feelings to be felt, to be talked about, and to be shown. Today, I’ve been thinking about the opposite: containing them – and how to know when to do what! Containing our emotions means to hold back how we’re feeling from someone else. It’s what we do when we […]
Containing Our Emotions: When It’s Helpful To Hold Back Read More »
Have you ever seen someone have a very strong reaction to something that seems minor? From your perspective, you’re wondering what the big deal is. Why are they getting so upset? Of course, this happens all the time in marriages and other intimate relationships. We see our spouse “freak out” over something small. Often, we
You’re seeing red. You’re in the middle of a heated argument with your spouse when the gloves come off: Do things get ugly? Are you screaming your head off? Does the argument veer off the original topic until you’ve covered just about everything you’ve ever been upset about? Do you follow your partner around the house because you just
Rules for Fair Fighting: How to Keep Your Head in the Middle of a Heated Argument Read More »
If you and your spouse have been together for some time, it’s possible that you’ve been having the same, uninspired sex for a while now: same positions, same day/time/place, same techniques. It may be enjoyable and comforting to be together, you may like the physical release, or both, but it’s definitely not as hot as
Sex in Marriage: Where Has The Passion Gone? Read More »
You’re online or in a store shopping for a present for your partner and you don’t have a clue what would make a good gift. Maybe you don’t know what he or she wants. Maybe one of you is out of work or you are feeling the recession in some other way. Maybe there’s a
How to Give a Meaningful Gift That Can Help You Reconnect With Your Partner Read More »
Most people are good at complaining and making negative comments about the things they aren’t happy with. It’s so easy to nag, pressure, nitpick and criticize. The critical comments roll off our tongues so easily; we often make them without giving them a second thought. Think about it – how many times have you voiced
Getting What You Want: How Asking the Right Way Can Help You Get It Read More »
Every once in awhile, something unprecedented happens and we suddenly find ourselves out of our normal routine and dealing with either minor inconveniences or extreme difficulties caused by circumstances beyond our control. Let’s think about the impact of a natural disaster such as a superstorm. During the aftermath of a storm, lives are disrupted. Most normal
Relationships: Finding Harmony, Even During Hardships Read More »
When you’re upset, do you tend to pull yourself inside or express yourself outwardly? Do you clam up? This is the Avoider Style of reacting. Do you persist in talking about the issue? This is the Pursuer Style of reacting. Which is your ‘go to’ reaction? And, could your reactions be making things worse? What
Will My Avoider or Pursuer Reaction Style Help Me Get My Needs Met? Read More »
If you’ve been with your partner a long time, it’s likely that your sex life is vastly different now than it used to be. Couples in long-term relationships tell me all the time that they’re having less (or no) sex, and that it’s plain vanilla – the same tried and true position, or quick and
Sex: An Expression of Many Parts of Yourself Read More »
Remember when you were newlyweds and you couldn’t get enough of each other? You’d dress up for dates so that you looked and felt sexy and then eagerly anticipate returning home together? And other evenings when you weren’t going anywhere, you’d slip something sexy on to spice things up in the bedroom? But now you are
Sex In Marriage: Keeping the Passion Alive, Post Children Read More »
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