spouse

Rules for Fair Fighting: How to Keep Your Head in the Middle of a Heated Argument

You’re seeing red. You’re in the middle of a heated argument with your spouse when the gloves come off: Do things get ugly? Are you screaming your head off? Does the argument veer off the original topic until you’ve covered just about everything you’ve ever been upset about? Do you follow your partner around the house because you just […]

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Sex in Marriage: Where Has The Passion Gone?

If you and your spouse have been together for some time, it’s possible that you’ve been having the same, uninspired sex for a while now: same positions, same day/time/place, same techniques. It may be enjoyable and comforting to be together, you may like the physical release, or both, but it’s definitely not as hot as

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You’re Ready for Couples Counseling: Now How Do You Ask Your Spouse?

Have things been distant between you and your spouse for some time? Have you felt unhappy or stuck in the relationship? Are you finally ready to reach out to a professional rather than continue to stick your head in the sand, hoping things will magically improve? Are you ready to take that step BUT the

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Infidelity: How Working Through it Can STRENGTHEN a Marriage

We think we should be strong enough to survive alone. Regarding marriage, we think that if we are betrayed by an unfaithful partner, we should leave. Well-meaning friends tend to tell the spouse who was betrayed, “You should leave the bastard!” as if that’s the right, and only, response. But, leaving immediately is a poor

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Valentine’s Day and The Myth That Couples Should Always Be Close

The common (and incorrect) assumption about relationships is that if we just find the right person, then we’ll always be close. We start in Romantic Love where we can’t get enough of each other. During this early stage of love, we are each other’s most passionate supporter and in sync sexually. Most people believe that

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Getting What You Want: How Asking the Right Way Can Help You Get It

Most people are good at complaining and making negative comments about the things they aren’t happy with. It’s so easy to nag, pressure, nitpick and criticize. The critical comments roll off our tongues so easily; we often make them without giving them a second thought. Think about it – how many times have you voiced

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Will My Avoider or Pursuer Reaction Style Help Me Get My Needs Met?

When you’re upset, do you tend to pull yourself inside or express yourself outwardly?  Do you clam up?  This is the Avoider Style of reacting.  Do you persist in talking about the issue?  This is the Pursuer Style of reacting.  Which is your ‘go to’ reaction? And, could your reactions be making things worse? What

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In the Heat of the Moment: Keeping Your Emotions from Causing More Damage

You’ve just had a huge fight with your partner. You’re still fuming. Does the situation seem hopeless, insurmountable, or like there’s no way out? Does your mind immediately turIn to thoughts of separation/divorce? When you have those feelings, what do you do with them? Do you explode them out or keep them hidden? Conflicts can

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When The Pot Calls The Kettle Black: Dealing with Projection

“You’re so passive! Why can’t you stand up for yourself?!” “You’re over-involved with your family. Don’t you consider me!?” “You’re too emotional! You need to be more logical.” “You get enraged over the smallest things. You should be more accepting.”     Ever find yourself hating something about your partner? Who hasn’t? Once the initial

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Relationship Essentials

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