Sex: How It Changes Through Each Stage of Relationships

October 20, 2014 by admin in Emotions, Relationships | Leave a comment

New clients often come into our offices saying, “I’ve fallen out of love,” or “We’re having intimacy problems,” or “The sex is not like it used to be.” Feeling like this is a disappointment, indeed. This often makes people view themselves as having a bad relationship or having chosen the wrong partner when that is not the case at all. A changing sexual connection is a normal part of all relationships. That intense heat and passion doesn’t last. How could it? We’d never get anything productive done!

More seriously, the reason that the passion doesn’t last is because it’s partly ignited by the exploration of this new person. Over time, the mystery of who this person is (their scent, their preferences, their reactions) gets answered. This leaves us with familiarity, and familiarity is NOT as erotic as newness. If couples don’t know this is the normal course of all committed relationships (and that it’s signaling that it’s time to create new ways of relating) they find themselves unhappy.

In session, we teach the Stages of Relationships – a concept from Harville Hendrix, PhD, who developed Imago Relationship Therapy. These stages are Romantic Love, the Power Struggle, Re-committment, Doing the Work and Awakening. They are characterized by the following:

Romantic Love – freely receiving and giving love because we feel accepted and desired by this new person; each person shows his/her best self
Power Struggle or Difficult Stage – we now know each other’s shortcomings, some of which drive us crazy; we are challenged to work together despite differences; we must deal with unpleasantness; we often demand the partner make changes; this stage is colored by blame and criticism
Re-committment – deciding to stay together and try to work it out
Doing the Work – fueled by curiousity about oneself; learning and using communication tools; moderating one’s affect (emotions); choosing reactions that enhance the relationship
Awakening and Real Love – stage of personal growth; a deep and true love based on knowing your partner fully AND still accepting them; being accepted for who you are as well.

So, how does sexual connection change throughout these stages? Here are the stages again, but this time let’s look at how they affect the sexual side:

Romantic Love – exploring this new person; lowered inhibitions add to more sexual expression and responsiveness; fueled by pheromones
Power Struggle or Difficult Stage – familiarity; same positions, same place and time; decreased desire; demanding the partner change either by reigniting their passionate side or cooling off their passionate side
Re-committment – deciding to stay together and redefine sex and intimacy
Doing the Work – learning to communicate needs and preferences; expand your definition of sex beyond intercourse; learning to love your body & its imperfections
Awakening and Real Love – sexual attraction based on self and sexual confidence; intimacy based on allowing one’s true self, feelings, and preferences to be seen

IT’S NORMAL for your sex life with your partner to ebb and flow throughout the relationship. In fact, it’s an opportunity for the two of you to evolve and grow together. As a result, your bond is strengthened and deepened. Is it easy? No. It takes a good deal of introspection, moderating your emotions, controlling your impulsive reactions, and understanding/empathizing with one another. Is it worth all that work? Most definitely.

Navigating through the Power Struggle/Difficult Stage can be so challenging without support and good information about relationships. Maybe you’ve tried counseling before with little to no results. Maybe you ended up more frustrated or things improved a little, but only temporarily. The therapists at Couples Therapy Center of NJ can help. We’re all specialists in the area of intimate relationships. We can give you the support, new perspective, and tools you need to have more love and excitement in your relationship. Can’t get your partner to come in with you? No problem! We see individuals, too. Call us at 908-246-3074 or email getsuppport@couplestherapycenterofnj.com now to schedule your appointment. Don’t wait any longer. Start making positive changes today.

Date Night Ideas

October 6, 2014 by admin in Relationships, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Do you have a date night but are getting bored with dinner and a movie? Here are some fun ideas to keep you in connection with each other.

Go to an arcade or boardwalk and play those games with each other that you haven’t played since you were dating: skee ball, air hockey, PacMan.
On a map of a state or country you’ve lived or traveled, highlight all the towns and sites you visited together. Bring your map to a coffee house and reminisce together.
After the kids have gone to bed, dust off photo albums containing pictures of when your relationship first began. Spread a blanket on the living room floor and pour over them.
Keep affection alive in your marriage by making time for non-sexual touch: a back massage, foot massage, cuddling, or holding hands in public.
Hire a chef to come to your home, cook a full meal, serve it to you, and do all the cleanup. Enjoy time with each other and not have to lift a finger or drive home.
Listen to music from your teenage years or download a routine from your favorite comedian and go parking at a scenic spot.

Maintaining a happy, healthy, long-term relationship can be so difficult with all the pressures and challenges in today’s fast-paced world. Maybe you’ve tried counseling before with little to no results. Maybe you ended up more frustrated or things improved a little, but only temporarily. The therapists at Couples Therapy Center of NJ can help. We’re all specialists in the area of intimate relationships. We can give you the support, new perspective, and tools you need to have more love and excitement in your relationship. Can’t get your partner to come in with you? No problem! We see individuals, too. Call us at 908-246-3074 or email getsuppport@couplestherapycenterofnj.com now to schedule your appointment. Don’t wait any longer. Start making positive changes today.

Hurt By Hearsay? How Therapy Rebuilds Your Sense of Safety

September 29, 2014 by admin in Emotions, Relationships, Therapist, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Gossip – sometimes it seems we’re surrounded by it. We hear it all the time. It glares at us from nearly every grocery store headline. Have you seen so-and-so’s new haircut? What was he/she thinking? And what about those two? Can you believe they did that?!

On the surface, gossiping can seem like harmless, idle chatter. It goes on all the time – and not just on the newsstands. I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation where the conversation turned to pointing out the flaws or misfortunes of others behind their backs. But think twice before you chime in – gossiping about someone else can hurt YOU, in ways you may not even suspect. Believe it or not, gossiping about others leads to unease, insecurity, and even to deciding not to trust anyone ever again.

Initially, sharing negative information about someone else can make you feel close to the person you’re talking to. But, deep down you know that he/she has the capability to talk hurtfully about you when you’re not around. The temporary closeness you feel is not true intimacy. In fact, there’s very little closeness here. Being genuinely connected to another person involves each person sharing their feelings ABOUT THEMSELVES, not feelings they have about another person. If this is the way your family communicated when you were growing up, it’s likely you rarely had a sense of relationships being safe and trustworthy.

And don’t forget the flip side of gossip. Sadly, almost all of us have had some time in our life when WE were the one who was being talked about. Think back to how you felt: mildly embarrassed, completely betrayed, hurt, humiliated, mortified? Whether we are the one doing the talking or the one being talked about, gossip chips away at our sense of trust, safety, comfort, and security.

If you find it hard to trust that others won’t turn on you, or if you have ever been betrayed or gossiped about, it can be a huge relief to talk to a therapist who is bound by law to keep sessions confidential . For some, the experience of safety and trust they feel with their therapist is quite new. Not only are therapists bound by law to do this, we also WANT to keep what you say confidential. We want to give you the experience of feeling secure and knowing that you will not be mocked, made fun of, or talked negatively about for something you said, did, or thought.

Once you feel this genuine security that therapy can provide, you can begin to open up. Finally, there is someone you can share your inner world with. What a relief to talk about the thoughts you have rarely, if ever, verbalized! Your therapist will be there for you to share the feelings you really feel about people and situations. But this is not done with the intention of bad-mouthing someone else. Instead, it is done with the intention of learning about yourself and why that person triggers an intense reaction in you. As a result, you will learn to handle these situations better in the future.

Feeling safe to finally open up to someone again is both powerful and beautiful. It sets the stage for you to put an end to feelings of insecurity, to learn to banish toxic talk, and to learn to trust again.

Don’t you deserve to create this type of relationship for yourself again?

SERENITY NOW: Why George Costanza’s Father Had Half of it Right

September 22, 2014 by admin in Emotions, Relationships | Leave a comment

If you’re like most of us, your partner can trigger you like no one else can – with the possible exception of your mother! Sometimes all it takes is a few words or the wrong look and your reaction is immediate and intense – you’re angry, upset, hurt and reacting with a lot of emotion.

Think of a time when your partner said or did something that triggered your emotions. Now measure your emotional intensity on a scale of 0 to 10 with the following:

0 = you feel no emotions other than calm and peaceful
5 = your emotions are moderately strong, whether it’s frustration, sadness, rejection, isolation or something else
10 = your emotions are the most intense you can feel and you act impulsively, doing and thinking things that shock even you.

What number did you get to from 0 to 10? Was your emotion instant or gradually building?

Did you find yourself reacting with words or behaviors (exploding or shutting down)? Can you feel your self get triggered with:

a rising up in your chest
tension in your jaw
moving anxiously

Can you hear yourself get triggered with:

defensiveness
blaming
shaming
criticism
slipping into silence

What would it be like to keep your cool instead? This seems easy to consider when you’re calm, but can be very difficult to actually begin doing. Although you should address whatever your spouse did or said that triggered you, the time for doing so is not when your emotions are heightened.

Here are some things that can help stop or slow down those instant reactions in the moments when you feel triggered:

take a deep breath
drink a glass of water or make yourself a hot, soothing, non-alcoholic drink
go into the bathroom to remove yourself for a minute
say a prayer
imagine yourself settling back down
Have a phrase you tell yourself silently to settle yourself down to a 1 or 2 such as
- “I can stay calm and be okay right in this moment.”
- “I could react right now but I’m choosing not to.”
- “To react right now would only do more damage.”
- “Just because my spouse is emotional (at a 5 or above), I can stay at a much lower number.”

Remember George Costanza’s father yelling, “SERENITY NOW”on Seinfeld? Mr. Costanza used a good phrase- he had the right idea- but his emotional intensity was clearly at an 8 or so. Used properly, the phrase you choose should help calm you back down to a much less intense level of emotion.

When you’ve calmed back down to a 0, 1 or 2, it’s a better time to talk about whatever triggered you. Ask your partner for a dialogue. For example, you might say, “I noticed I had a reaction yesterday to ___ and would like to talk to you about it. Is now a good time?”

Your ability to contain your feelings and reactions shows maturity. Keeping your cool is a huge factor in a healthy marriage. It will help you deal effectively and productively with hot button issues and is an essential skill all couples must learn in order to progress in couples counseling.

Words Are Crucial: How Speaking Your Unfiltered Thoughts Could Be Impacting Your Relationship

August 11, 2014 by admin in Emotions, Relationships | Leave a comment

Words have so much power. Depending on how we use them, words have the power to inspire, to hurt, or to heal. Notice what you say to your partner. Are you saying words that support and inspire your spouse? Are you using words that soothe and heal him/her? Or are you using words that criticize or shame your partner?

We often fail to consider the impact that our words have on others because we spend so much time talking. We think that our words don’t really matter, or won’t have much of an effect on anyone else. The rationale is, “I talk all day. Each thing I say doesn’t really have that much of an impact on others.” Put that together with the fact that most people are poor listeners and it’s easy to convince ourselves that our words won’t have a very big impact on someone else’s life. However, this is not true. Our words DO make a difference to others.

Think back to a specific childhood memory. Try to recall an instance when you were with a teacher, a parent, a friend, a sibling, or a bully. Can you recall exactly what that person said to you? Chances are, you can. Now notice the feelings you have in connection to that incident. Do you remember feeling loved, encouraged, threatened, or demeaned? Often, we can remember exactly what someone said to us years, or even decades later, because it had an emotional impact on us. The words that person chose to speak at that time served to inspire, hurt, or heal us.

The words you use now have this same power. The people in your life can feel touched by your supportive words. They can be healed by your loving words. By the same token, they can feel demeaned or hurt by your critical words. That’s why it’s so important that you think about what you say to your partner. Which type of words do you use most with your spouse? It’s important for you to realize that the way you talk to your spouse IS impacting him/her – even if he/she tries not to let you see it. If you look carefully, you might notice a slight smile or see their body relax when you speak words of caring. Or you might see their brow crease or body tense when you speak words of judgment.

Here at Couples Therapy Center of New Jersey, we teach couples and individuals to be more aware of the words they use. We can show you how to choose your words with deliberation and care so that they will have a positive impact on your relationship. We want you to pick your words knowing full well that they will affect the person you love. We want to help you learn to choose the words that will bring those you love closer rather than drive them away. The words you choose have the power to inspire, to hurt or to heal. Which ones are you choosing? Call or email us. We can set up a time to chat so that you can become more aware of how your words might be impacting the most important relationship of your life. Working with us will help you learn when to filter your thoughts and when to speak your mind so that your words will help and heal your relationship, rather than harm it.

Maintaining a happy, healthy long-term relationship can be so difficult with all the pressures and challenges in today’s fast-paced world. Maybe you’ve tried counseling before with little to no results. Maybe you ended up more frustrated or things improved a little, but only temporarily. The therapists at Couples Therapy Center of NJ can help. We’re all specialists in the area of intimate relationships. We can give you the support, new perspective, and tools you need to have more love and excitement in your relationship. Can’t get your partner to come in with you? No problem! We see individuals, too. Call us at 908-246-3074 or email getsuppport@couplestherapycenterofnj.com now to schedule your appointment. Don’t wait any longer. Start making positive changes today.

Wow! My spouse can be just like my mother/father! How did that happen?

July 28, 2014 by admin in Emotions, Family, Relationships, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Have you ever been going about your daily life, when suddenly something your spouse says or does is so reminiscent of what your mother or father once said or did, you can hardly believe it? It can be quite surprising – and sometimes unsettling – to see certain traits of your parents in your spouse!

The positive traits are understandable. It makes sense that we would choose to be with someone who has some of the same positive characteristics of our parents. On the other hand, the negative traits can be disturbing.

By traits, I mean certain aspects of a person’s character that define who they are most of the time, including in times of crisis. Some positive traits that you might have seen in your parents – and your spouse – are warmth, bravery, trustworthiness, gentleness, confidence, tolerance, fairness, lending support, being dependable, generous, hardworking and loving. It seems natural that we would choose to be with someone who has the same positive traits as our parents because we grew up with those things and those parts felt good.

On the other hand, when you see the negative traits of your parents reflected in your spouse it can be very upsetting. Examples of negative traits include being inflexible, fearful, sneaky, grumpy, attacking, stingy, impatient, intrusive and, at the extreme, neglectful or abusive. We may wonder, “Why didn’t I see that BEFORE we got married?” “How could I have chosen someone who says or does things my parent(s) used to do that I hated?” Or even, “How did this happen?”

Like everyone, your spouse has both positive and negative traits. Of course, many of his/her traits are quite different from your parent’s. However, in this article, we’re talking about the traits that are the same. You were unconsciously drawn to a person with the same traits as your parents because they were familiar. This is what you grew up with. This is what you know.

The contact you had (or didn’t have) with your parents was your first experience with being in a relationship. From that, you learned how people behave. You learned this on both a conscious level (meaning you know this) and an unconscious level (meaning you aren’t aware of this but it’s affecting your life anyway). Later in our lives, when we find a person with similar traits, we tend to gravitate towards them because we learned that that’s just how people behave.

It’s shocking to consider that you unconsciously chose to be with a person because they have one or more of the same negative traits you grew up with. This didn’t happen because you wanted it to, it happened because this is what you learned a relationship feels like.

A good example of this is a woman who keeps getting involved with men who are unavailable. She hates that she falls in love with men who are this way. It doesn’t make sense to her until she gains insight into herself and considers that her mother was absent. (It doesn’t matter if it’s the same sex or opposite sex parent.) Being in a relationship with someone who isn’t around or isn’t emotionally available is familiar to her. She may not like it, but it’s what she knows and what she has gravitated towards.

The good news here is that once we learn the things our unconscious is drawing us to, we can change them. We can decide with the conscious, knowing part of our brain to begin to do things differently. Changing this part of yourself may mean deliberately dating someone different next time or finally learning how to deal effectively with your spouse who has this trait.

The first step to making this change is awareness. Write down all the positive and negative traits of your parents or caregivers. Next, write down all the traits of your current or past partners and look for similarities. As a child, you just had to cope with, or survive living with, the negative traits of your parents. As an adult, you can learn to deal effectively with people who have these same traits. You don’t have to live stuck in a time warp!

If this insight intrigues you, call us. Helping clients to gain insight and do things differently is exactly what the therapists and coaches here at Couples Therapy Center of New Jersey do every day. We can help you make positive changes so that you can stop blindly repeating what doesn’t feel right.

Does Your Relationship Feel Difficult? Let Us Guide You Through This Stage And On To Create an Even Better Relationship Together

July 20, 2014 by admin in Relationships | Leave a comment

Do you sometimes wonder if you married the wrong person? Have you asked yourself: How could I have been so clueless? Why didn’t I listen to my friends (or my mother) who warned me? What was I attracted to, anyway? When the difficult stage of a relationship hits, people think they should…

change their partner (nag, beg, manipulate, demand, threaten)
stay in an unhappy marriage and get fulfillment elsewhere OR
leave.

Couples therapy offers a third option: to guide you through this difficult, but expected, stage so you grow and mature as individuals and as a couple. It’s a chance to work through these difficulties, to re-create the relationship so you’re both better at giving and receiving love and to find new and better ways to communicate.

People commonly think one was either lucky/smart and chose a ‘good partner’ or one was unlucky/stupid and chose a ‘bad partner.’ Turns out it’s way more nuanced (and unconscious) than that! The reality is that we were drawn to our spouse because they were at the same level of development we were back then. We’re supposed to not only love, but also be in conflict with this person because the conflict points to the areas we most need to work on. Oh, why aren’t we told to expect this challenging stage BEFORE walking down the aisle!

So, you’re in this difficult stage that all relationships get to – what do you do now?

Take good care of your body with exercise and enough sleep and healthy food – you’re not the greatest spouse, either, when you’re less than healthy.

Connect with a therapist (your former one or get started now) – you need support and guidance to move forward.

Make time for sex and fun as a couple – it will help you weather this difficult stage and remind you why you got together in the first place.

Become curious about your role in the relationship – how do you act out that adds to the conflict or distance between you two?

Get a new perspective – realize that the conflicts are an opportunity to learn and grow.

Refresh your communication tools – it’s likely they’ve gotten sloppy after months or years with the same person.

Get a Grip: How to Keep Emotional Reactions From Hurting Your Marriage

July 7, 2014 by admin in Emotions, Events, Relationships, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Your emotions have a huge impact on your marriage. Whether your reaction to these emotions is to show them on the outside OR to keep outside of your awareness, your reaction might be driving your partner away. After many times of reacting similarly, a pattern sets in. This pattern may be a big contributor to the difficulties in your marriage.

People react differently when they have an emotion inside. Some people are overreactors and some are underreactors. An overreactor is very obvious. When they’re emotionally triggered by something, they can react with their body. They might clench their fists or jaw, stomp around, point, or stand up to appear bigger. You can see their emotions in their face: anger, sadness, crying, or disappointment. They can also react with their voice by yelling, raging, cursing, using sarcasm, bemoaning, complaining, or non-stop talking.

An underreactor is trickier to see. These people tend to shut down and close off from others. They may not even know they are feeling anything. Underreactors may leave the room or the house, curl up their shoulders, go off to bed, or turn to some distraction like the computer. It might show up if they say very little, are silent, or speak quietly. Often you can hardly tell by their face that anything is going on because there’s hardly any change in their expression. Many times you can hardly tell that an underreactor is having any feeling at all because they hardly show it. They’re just as upset on the inside as an overreactor; it’s just that it isn’t evident on the outside.

Your emotion (or what looks like your lack of emotion) is deeply affecting your spouse. You are so closely connected to your spouse, even if you currently feel distant, that your spouse can pick up on your feelings. And it DOES affect us to be in the presence of someone who feels angry, sad, or disappointed. Unless your spouse can stay calm and connected to you, your spouse likely has difficulty with your emotion and your reaction to your emotion. So, when you have a painful feeling, your spouse reacts to it.

Whether your spouse is an underreactor or overreactor will determine just how your spouse reacts to your emotion. Now, the two of you are experiencing painful emotions and reacting to them. For most couples in conflict or with great distance between them, this pattern is a big problem in and of itself.

All humans have emotions. We definitely have emotions when it comes to our spouse because we are so connected to this person. Rather than continuing to freak out OR to shut down:

Stop and think before you overreact or underreact.
Notice what it is you are feeling.
Think about how you would like to react instead that will not cause a secondary problem.
Reach out to talk to someone who supports your marriage and will help you sort through things.

This skill ALONE will have a profound effect on your spouse and everyone around you. Plus it’s your duty as an adult to know how to handle yourself and your emotional reaction to what life throws your way. You’re going to continue to have feelings about life’s events. Here at the Couples Therapy Center, we teach people what to do with their emotions: how to identify them, how emotions are showing up in your body as tension or illness, AND how to react to them in a way that keeps your relationship intact! Taking these steps can go a long way to achieving a stronger, more peaceful relationship. Here, you’ll learn the skills needed to stop overreacting or underreacting. Once you learn to react appropriately to all that life throws your way, you’ll find more peace and harmony both in your life and with your spouse.

To schedule an appointment to learn more, call 908-246-3074 or email getsupport@couplestherapycenterofnj.com

Don’t Let a Lack of Fun Lead to an Infidelity

June 23, 2014 by admin in Relationships, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Has your relationship been going just fine, but every so often you realize the two of you don’t have much fun together anymore? This might seem like no big deal, but be warned: this can set the stage for infidelity.

As life and responsibilities get in the way, many couples inadvertently put their relationship on the back burner. While you may be managing the other aspects of your life pretty well, it’s all too easy to lose sight of the love, fun and laughter you once shared. But without fun and shared laughter, your relationship can weaken. The years can pass by like this almost without realizing it. If then, your spouse (or you!) happen(s) to meet someone else, that longing for stimulating conversation, playful banter, and sexual eroticism can be activated and can lead to an affair. Many affairs happen because the opportunity presented itself at a time when the primary relationship was weakened, but not in crisis yet. Don’t let this happen to the two of you. Don’t lose sight of just how vital fun and laughter are to the health of your relationship.

So, how do you bring fun back into your relationship? How can you strengthen and deepen your connection with joy and shared laughter? A good place to start is to think back to your early romance. What did you used to enjoy doing as a couple when you first got together?

Think about the fun activities you once shared.

Did the two of you participate in or attend sporting events together?
Do you share a love of music – either playing or listening together?
Did you have fun traveling together, either to far-off places or to places closer to home?
Did you enjoy eating out together, either at a favorite spot, or trying new restaurants and cuisines?
Did you enjoy picnicking in a romantic spot or perhaps even cooking together to create a delicious meal?
Did you enjoy working on projects together for a shared sense of accomplishment?
Did you enjoy spending active time together outdoors or relaxing together indoors playing cards or board games?

Make it a point to spend time together, just the two of you, doing some of the things that initially brought you a sense of partnership and pleasure in your early romance. Or, do something new together. This can help you rediscover just how much fun your partner can be. Sharing laugher, reminiscing and making new memories can help keep your marriage strong and is just plain FUN.

To learn more, visit us atwww.couplestherapycenterofnj.com, call 908-246-3074 or email getsupport@couplestherapycenterofnj.com.

What Makes Your Therapist Tick?

June 16, 2014 by admin in Emotions, Relationships, Therapist, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

When people learn that I’m a therapist, they often ask me how I can spend all day listening to other people’s problems. Many people imagine that my job is very difficult and draining. For some people it might be, but it’s not that way for me. I do this job because I love it. I was drawn to doing this type of work and it’s perfect for me. Why?

Because I notice people and their relationships. I can feel what they’re feeling. I can feel their painful feelings and I know how to help them feel better. I may be in a restaurant and notice a couple at another table who haven’t said more than two words to each other the whole meal. I can see the discouragement and disconnection on their faces. The passion and excitement is gone and I feel for them.

I notice how couples talk to one another. I recognize the small jabs they take at each other as criticisms disguised as jokes . I can feel how much it hurts them to be criticized by their partners and have to be ‘on guard’ in front of them. I also hear some couples’ constant bickering. It’s almost as if their only way to communicate is to argue or debate over every little thing. There’s a tension that goes along with always debating with someone. People who are always challenged don’t feel free to say what they’re really thinking for fear that their partner will take issue with it.

People tell me about their compelling need to check up on their spouse: reading their texts or emails and looking at their call log for evidence that their love is elsewhere. It is so unsettling not to be able to trust your spouse, who is the person you love most in the world and who is supposed to love you back.

I also see couples who spend most of their free time apart. Their interests lie outside of their marriage to the point that they hardly do anything fun and enjoyable together as a couple. I feel the loneliness and distance they feel in their marriage.

And then there’s divorce. Divorce is so painful. There is so much loss. There is the loss of the life you built together, the loss of the dreams you shared for your future, the loss of the person you once were deeply in love with, the loss of friends and the loss of your partner’s family. There is the financial setback as well, which includes the astronomical cost of the divorce proceedings and the cost of running a household with no other adult. There is the impact on the kids to consider. Divorce can feel devastating for children who long for their parents to be together or who feel caught in the middle of warring parents. Kids can feel uncertain and anxious after their world has been turned upside down. Kids feel the grief and sadness of their family breaking apart. Many people think things are going to be better once they divorce. In reality, it can take years to recover and feel okay again.

If you see yourself in what I’ve described, I want you to know that I feel what you feel. I can help you. I know that it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to continue to feel these things. I know how to help with these problems. In fact, I love helping people with these problems and knowing that I’ve been part of their recovery process!

I give you the understanding and empathy you have been longing for. I give you the information that you need about how to deal with your difficult feelings and how to be a better spouse. We talk about what you want in your life and how you can take steps to get it. To finally get it! My work is so rewarding in this way. That’s why I do what I do. And it’s not just me. Here at the Couples Therapy Center, I have very carefully selected therapists who are similar to me in their ability to be understanding, empathetic, to feel what others feel, to have the same outlook on clients and know how to help them as I do.

To schedule an appointment call 908-246-3074 or email getsupport@couplestherapycenterofnj.com

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